Book Review: The Queen of Distraction

Terry Matlen’s The Queen of Distraction stands out as an empowering and empathetic resource for women navigating life with ADHD. Combining her professional expertise with personal experiences, She delivers a guide that feels both relatable and transformative. The book addresses challenges unique to women with ADHD, from managing clutter and time to balancing relationships and self-care, offering practical tools to move beyond the chaos.

I was particularly drawn to Matlen’s ability to validate her readers’ struggles while also equipping them with tangible solutions. The result is a book that feels less like a manual and more like an empowering conversation with a trusted friend.

In a nutshell...

Women with ADHD often face a unique set of hurdles. Matlen opens by acknowledging the emotional toll of feeling overwhelmed and inadequate—a reality many women experience long before receiving a diagnosis. Her approach immediately sets the book apart: rather than focusing solely on productivity or “fixing” behaviors, she encourages readers to understand and embrace their ADHD as part of who they are.

The book is structured into chapters that each tackle a specific challenge, including managing clutter, navigating relationships, parenting, and dealing with emotional overwhelm. Matlen’s advice is peppered with anecdotes, offering a glimpse into her personal experiences and those of the women she’s coached. These stories bring her insights to life, making them accessible even for readers who struggle with focus or find traditional self-help books overwhelming.

What makes this book especially accessible for women with ADHD is its structure. I think we've all been there when a book is too daunting a task to fit into our already busy day. Here, Matlan's chapters are concise and organized around specific topics, making it super easy to dip in and out without feeling overwhelmed. Her conversational tone, combined with the use of headings and bullet points, ensures that key takeaways are easy to grasp—even for readers who struggle with attention or focus.

Where the Queen is Strong

Warm and Empathetic Tone

Matlen writes with a warmth and authenticity that immediately puts the reader at ease. It’s clear she understands the shame and frustration that often accompany ADHD, particularly for women who are juggling roles as partners, parents, and professionals. Rather than adopting a prescriptive tone, she offers her advice with compassion and humor, making readers feel seen and understood.

For instance, her chapter on managing clutter doesn’t begin with a laundry list of tasks but instead acknowledges how overwhelming clutter can feel for someone with ADHD. She normalizes the experience of living with piles of paper and unwashed dishes, shifting the focus from self-blame to practical solutions.

Practical, Actionable Advice

The book is brimming with strategies that are easy to implement, even for those who feel perpetually stuck. One of Matlen’s standout tips is the concept of “clutter triage,” which encourages readers to prioritize their belongings into categories like urgent (must handle now), important (handle soon), and non-urgent (deal with later). This approach feels manageable and avoids the all-or-nothing mindset that often paralyzes women with ADHD.

Other practical tools include creating “launch pads” near entryways to organize daily essentials like keys, phones, and backpacks and using visual aids like photos or labeled bins to make items easier to locate. These strategies are designed to work with, rather than against, the ADHD brain, recognizing the importance of tangible, low-effort solutions.

Relatable Stories

Matlen’s use of personal anecdotes is another strength. She weaves her own experiences into the book, sharing moments of chaos, humor, and triumph that will resonate deeply with readers. Whether she’s describing her struggles with clutter or recounting the time she left an entire catered meal in the trunk of her car, Matlen’s stories humanize her advice and remind readers that they are not alone.

Comprehensive Coverage

From managing time and clutter to navigating relationships and hormonal changes, The Queen of Distraction offers a holistic approach to life with ADHD. Matlen also devotes space to the emotional side of ADHD, exploring how shame, guilt, and perfectionism can impact self-esteem. Her advice to practice self-compassion and focus on progress rather than perfection is both practical and empowering.

Where the She Needs Work

While The Queen of Distraction excels in many areas, it does have a few shortcomings:

Repetitive Content

For readers already familiar with ADHD literature, some sections may feel repetitive. Strategies like using visual reminders or breaking tasks into smaller steps are common in ADHD resources, which might leave seasoned readers craving more novel insights.

Focus on Traditional Roles

The book primarily caters to women in traditional domestic roles, such as homemakers or mothers. While this focus aligns with the experiences of many readers, it may feel less relevant to single women, child-free women, or those whose lives don’t revolve around managing a household.

Limited Discussion of Coexisting Conditions

Although Matlen touches on the emotional aspects of ADHD, the book could have delved deeper into common coexisting conditions like anxiety or depression. Exploring how these conditions intersect with ADHD would have added depth and broadened its appeal.

Rating Time

I would give The Queen of Distraction by Terry Matlen a solid 4/5 stars.

Why 4/5?

• Strengths: The book shines with its empathetic tone, relatable anecdotes, and practical strategies tailored for women with ADHD. It’s especially valuable for those newly diagnosed or feeling overwhelmed, offering a sense of understanding and actionable solutions.

• Misses a Star: The content can feel repetitive for readers already familiar with ADHD resources, and its focus on traditional domestic roles might not resonate with everyone. A deeper exploration of coexisting conditions like anxiety or depression would have added richness.

Overall, it’s a compassionate and practical resource, though slightly limited in scope for those seeking more advanced or inclusive ADHD insights.

At a glance...

The Pros:

✅ Compassionate tone that validates readers’ experiences.

✅ Actionable strategies tailored to ADHD-specific challenges.

✅ Relatable anecdotes that make the advice feel grounded.

✅ Broad coverage of topics, from clutter to emotional well-being.

The Cons:

❌ Some content may feel repetitive for seasoned readers.

❌ Primarily geared towards women in traditional domestic roles.

❌ Limited exploration of coexisting conditions like anxiety.

Personal Takeaways

As someone who works closely with neurodivergent individuals, I found Matlen’s emphasis on self-compassion particularly compelling. Her advice to “let go of perfectionism” struck a chord, as this is a recurring theme in therapy with clients who have ADHD. The idea that you don’t need to be perfectly organized—just “organized enough” to achieve your goals—is both liberating and realistic.

One of the most memorable sections for me was her chapter on “clothing loathing,” which explores how ADHD can complicate something as simple as getting dressed. Matlen’s advice to create a capsule wardrobe and simplify decision-making is a small but impactful tip that readers can implement immediately.

My Final Thoughts

The Queen of Distraction is an invaluable resource for women seeking to better understand and manage their ADHD. While it may not offer groundbreaking insights for veteran readers, its compassionate tone and practical advice make it a must-read for those feeling overwhelmed or newly diagnosed. Matlen’s ability to balance empathy with actionable solutions ensures that this book not only informs but inspires. And we all need a regular dose of that!

If you’re struggling with ADHD-induced chaos, The Queen of Distraction is a gentle reminder that you’re not alone—and that small, intentional changes can lead to meaningful progress. With Matlen as your guide, the path forward feels a little less daunting and a lot more hopeful.