Glossary: Double Empathy Problem

Double Empathy Problem

In Everyday Terms:

The double empathy problem is when communication struggles happen both ways—not just because one person doesn’t understand, but because both people see the world differently. It’s like speaking two different languages and expecting the other person to “just get it.” Neurodivergent and neurotypical people often experience this when trying to connect, leading to misunderstandings, frustration, and feeling unheard or dismissed on both sides. It’s not about one group being wrong, but rather that each person brings their own way of thinking and interpreting the world.

Clinically Speaking:

The double empathy problem is a theory that suggests communication breakdowns between neurodivergent and neurotypical individuals occur due to differences in perspective, social experiences, and communication styles, rather than a deficit in one party. Originally proposed by autistic researcher Damian Milton, this concept challenges the idea that neurodivergent individuals alone struggle with social skills, instead highlighting that mutual misunderstanding and differing worldviews contribute to the disconnect. The theory emphasizes the importance of reciprocal understanding rather than placing the burden solely on the neurodivergent person to adapt.

How the Double Empathy Problem Affects Personal Finance

Differences in communication styles and priorities between neurodivergent and neurotypical individuals can impact financial decisions, money management, and financial relationships. Understanding these challenges can lead to better collaboration and financial outcomes.

Miscommunication in Financial Discussions

Different approaches to discussing money—such as a neurotypical preference for broad planning versus a neurodivergent need for specifics—can lead to misunderstandings in budgeting, saving, and financial goal-setting.

Different Spending Priorities

Neurodivergent individuals may prioritize spending based on comfort, special interests, or sensory needs, which may not always align with the expectations of neurotypical partners, family members, or financial advisors. This can create tension or misunderstandings around financial choices.

Challenges in Financial Advice

Standard financial advice may not always consider neurodivergent needs, such as difficulties with executive function, sensory processing, or impulse control. Neurotypical financial planners may struggle to provide guidance that aligns with the individual's unique thinking style and challenges.

Emotional Stress Around Money Conversations

Differing emotional responses to financial stress can create disconnects. For example, a neurodivergent person may struggle with financial anxiety differently than their neurotypical counterpart, leading to frustration and difficulty finding common ground.

Overcoming Stereotypes in Financial Independence

Misunderstandings fueled by the double empathy problem can lead to assumptions about financial capability, with neurodivergent individuals potentially being underestimated or not given the tools that fit their strengths and challenges.

Navigating finances through the lens of the double empathy problem requires patience, open-minded communication, and a willingness to bridge understanding gaps. Using clear, tailored financial strategies and seeking advisors who respect neurodivergent perspectives can lead to more inclusive and supportive financial planning.